"Wow, sign me up for that!" and other sarcastic remarks Ma could have made

Emily loves the "Little House on the Prairie," books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. They are the intermediate reader versions, which are abbreviated with big colorful illustrations and simple text.

Every time I come across this page in the first book called "Going West," I laugh to myself.  This is where Pa TELLS Ma they are movin' out West.  The reason?  Not as many people, no trees and the grass grows thick and high...just what every young mother wants. Yep, Pa's a closer alright.  

I kind of wish there were dialogue from Ma on the second page. The sarcastic remark potential is endless, but I think her face tells you the whole story.  Pa would have been wise to ask her to put away the knitting needles before he told her his plan.  Strange, I thought pioneers were supposed to have heightened survival skills. 

Comments

[MomZombie]

Pa needs some lessons in P.R. The way he sells her on the West, you'd think Ma would just use those knitting needles to jam into both of their eye sockets and get it over with already.

[fancy feet]

Ha! I never thought of it that way. You're right - there is an endless amount of sarcasm to be had here. I like that Pa TELLS her.

[jen broas]

That's hilarious! Step away from the knitting needles!

[Hippo Brigade]

Ma's eyes say it all. She's looking at him as if to say, "You're an idiot."

[Elaina]

Hmm...I don't think I would have had a sarcastic response for Pa.

[busybeesuz]

Yep, he would have to throw in a housekeeper, laundry maid and weekly pedicures too!!!

[Dandy]

~snicker~

Wise observations!

[Elaina]

Then again, I don't generally like people. I do like trees though so it might have been a harder call than at first thought. Haha.

[Joe Sweden]

Pa was a simple man. Not well-versed in the ways of the ladies, but he was a stud. So, I'm sure he was able to fend off any unavoidable knitting needle attack.

[Scott]

The grass growing thick and high is clearly a marijuana reference. Pa is making his pitch about the opportunity to grow better pot in the West. The droop in Ma's eyelids show she is high as a kite and has been staring at those knitting needles for about an hour and a half. Perhaps an appropriate response from Ma would be, "Far out, Pa."

[Gabrielle Valentine]

That's TOO good. I love captions, too.

A few:

"As if."
"The hell you say!"
"oh no he didn't!"
"I need a Xanax."
"No sex fo' Pa."
"I've HAD it. No churned butter today."

[Michelle Kissel]

And i had NO idea children's books could be THIS funny with what is NOT said. Ha-ha - love the comments and your note Suz. Made me LOL - and loudly too! Keep it coming.

[Mental P Mama]

If he really looked like Michael Landon, I would follow him anywhere;)

[Debs]

LOL! Even half-pint couldn't save him now...

[Grant Forest]

Oh yea. Those knitting needles are going to leave a mark.

[chrome3d]

Michael Landon grew a beard and somehow it´s distracting me here. These are not the same people.

[Cactus Petunia]

I think you should definitely write a revised edition. I'm sure it would make the NY Times bestseller list!

[Cara]

I love the expression on Ma's face. Too funny!
I loved Little House on the Prairie.

[Margo]

the expression - "well, isn't that special, PA" - does crack me up. that would actually be a great writing exercise - to continue that story with some high knitting needle drama and passive aggressive dialogue. Very interesting observations - raising girls, it's good to have a lot of them :)

[Hildegarde]

We've come a long way :-)

[Well Behaved Krissy]

hahah this is a hoot.

I think my favorite would be "what you talkin' bout Willis?"

[Linda]

I STILL love the Little House books, but I think if I were Ma I would have brained Pa with a skillet several times over.

On the Michael Landon alternative universe, there's a lovely description in 'The Child that Books Built' by Francis Spufford of the author visiting the Ingalls house in De Smet. "There comes a moment on every tour [of the house]...when the guides can pick the lovers of the books out from the fan club of the Little House TV series. 'We show them the portrait of Charles Ingalls', say the ladies - and those who were expecting Laura's Pa to look like Michael Landon, with his seventies big hair and his acres of tanned muscle, see a plain and slightly pop-eyed Victorian gent with a spade beard. 'They go, "Oh, what? Wow!" '

[The Glamorous Life Association]

Here is a story for you. Kinda relates. And basically I have no place else to tell it.
I was a GATE kid, or MGM in those days. And we were given a HELLA lotta free time to be CREATIVE (instead of learning spelling and math. Who needs those?) Anyway I decide to write a play (my first) based on the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. A whole play. It was like an hour and half long. I cast it. Designed the sets. Borrowed things from all over town to make it look authentic. Got costumes and eventually performed it for the entire school twice. I narrated the play. In my bonnet from Knott's Berry Farm and prairie dress. It was the beginning of everything for me.

And I still watch the TV show whenever I come across it. In my mind........ I WAS HALF PINT.
:)

[foolery]

If Ma Only Knew Her Own Strength: "Okay, listen up, Charles, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once. We are moving to Minneapolis. Like, NOW. We are getting rid of the spring wagon for one of those surreys with the fringe on the top. I need three -- hear that? THREE! -- new dresses a year, and none of this calico gingham crap. Ever heard of rayon? And another thing . . ."

[noe noe girl]

This is where "WTF" came from!
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