Emphasis Mine

On The Mom Blog today: Please don't call it "The OC"

Today on The Mom Blog I get peeved at the use of the term "The OC"

Here is my full post...if you want to comment please head on over to my blog "Mommy's Mind is not a Toy" and tell me what you think...is this just a non-issue?

...and now something totally un-mom related.

I've never heard anyone from Orange County ever refer to it as "The OC." It's not like this is the biggest deal in the world, but as a native, it bugs.
It feels a little like media carpetbagging when you hear it called "The OC" on the news or see it on a t-shirt.

I think it's a lot like when I lived in San Francisco and I'd be at a party and someone would say "Oh, I just love Frisco." That person would be instantly marked as a poser from Mountain View and avoided for the rest of the night for fear he would start talking about "Kerouac."
Don't get me started on my hometown Huntington Beach, oops...oh, I mean "Surf City."

Surf City Frozen Yogurt? Yes. Surf City Marathon? Okay. I'll meet you at Sugar Shack in Surf City? Never.

I know it's just supposed to be a tagline, but I don't want my memories, my hometown, my life, taglined.

Okay, maybe I should just get over this--it's a little petty and adolescent. It just rings untrue in my ear. Like when someone says "Supposably" or "for all intensive purposes."

It just ain't right.

What are the best beaches in Orange County for families?

Today, on my blog at ocregister.com I ask readers to tell me what beaches in Orange County are the best for families.

If you want to give me some advise, or are just dying to see me again on Daybreak OC again, then click here to go to The Mom Blog.

Things Which Are An Affront To My Husband's Masculinity Which I Don't Understand, But Have Learned To Accept

Today on The Mom Blog at ocregister.com, I write about the mystery that is my husband maleness...

For some this is a review, but I have added some new affronts.

Alleged Affront: Using a staw.
His explanation: You never saw John Wayne use a straw, did you?

Alleged Affront: Walking a dog who is wearing a sweater.
His explanation: Is self-explanatory.

Alleged Affront: Checking Luggage.
His Explanation: Baggage Claim is for amateurs.

Alleged Affront: Shampoo and then condition.
His explanation: Why do in two steps what you can do it one.

Alleged Affront: Suggesting 4-year-old son dress as "Robin" for Halloween.
His explaination: There will be no sidekicks in his family.

Alleged Affront: Being issued a Disney credit card with Bambi on it.
His explanation: Mickey is the only acceptable character.

Alleged Affront: Taking a pain killer when in pain.
His explanation: No time. (huh?)

Alleged Affront: Attempting to talk about hilarity of old boyfriend's letter found in box in closet whilst he is watching UFC Championships.
His explanation: Too many affronts to explain.

Things I would think would be an affront to his masculinity, which apparently are not:

Watching Jane Austen's "Emma" staring Gwyneth Paltrow (suspect it has something to do with Gwyneth's beautiful neck).

Social etiquette injustice in Villa Park!

Today on my blog at "The Mom Blog" at ocregister.com I tell the story of social etiquette injustice in Villa Park.

This happened to me almost a year ago and I still get all worked up about it. Not sure what that says about me...probably not anything very good. Anyway, it is good to have a little social etiquette refresher course.

Click here for a tutorial...

Finding a new home for my Uncle Bob

This is my Uncle Bob and me. He is 86-years-old and he is moving in to his new retirement home today in Laguna Woods! My brothers and I have spent the last week getting his new pad ready and I think hope he is going to love it.

Because I have been so busy, I posted "Songs from the 70s rewritten by the artists after they had kids" on the Mom Blog today. This was my list from -McSweeney's Internet tendencies Lists- it might just be a repeat for some...I did add a few new ones.

Today on "Mommy's mind is not a toy" Keeping our precious kids safe

Today on "Mommy's Mind is Not a Toy" I tackle a pretty serious subject: child abduction. I highly recommend reading it and getting the DVD if you are a mom. Thanks Jill for giving me letting me borrow the DVD, which is now thrashed because my kids have watched it so many times...new one is on its way...

Keeping our precious kids safe

"I'll always be a child molester." That's what I remember the convict saying as we filmed him at a high-security prison in the Bay Area.

In my previous life, before I was married with children, I was a television associate producer in San Francisco. One project I worked on has left a lasting, haunting impression. It was a child safety video called "The Look Project."

The creation of the show was sparked by the abduction of Polly Klaas in nearby Petaluma. If you remember, directly following that particular abduction there was an enormous amount of attention on the subject. As I recall, it was a pretty challenging show to produce. We interviewed a convicted child molester in prison, shot abduction scenes on the streets of Sausalito, and spent hours carefully writing the script.

I suppose this is what has made me extra cautious with my own kids--I never post pictures of them on the internet and never let them out of my sight when we're in public. The man we interviewed deep inside a prison looked just like an ordinary guy, he was a dad and husband--no sinister look in his eye, nothing that would make you think, "I am going to keep my kids away from him."

"The Look Project" I think only exists in a box somewhere in my garage, but there is a stranger safety video that I would highly reccomend to every parent. Every child should watch it, repeatedly.

Please click here for the rest of the story...

Today in "Alive in Wonderland"

Today in my column I follow the day of a new writer as her blog post is seen by thousands--that would be me. Don't forget to click "recommend" there's a money back guarantee if you aren't completely satisfied

Yesterday I was hit on over 9,000 times!

My post from The Mom Blog was plopped right smack dab on the left side of the home page of the ocregister.com...wait, I feel a link coming on... The (More) Real(istic) Housewives of Orange County...yep! there it is.

There we are, my girlfriends and I at The ARTbar The ARTbar in downtown Santa Ana. (You can read my post about that day at the ARTbar's Breast Cancer Fundraiser here.)

A day at the ARTbar followed by lunch at The Gypsy Den is a day you throw on your pink hoodie and flip flops and prepare yourself for a little OC exile...Who knew we were going to have 9,000 people looking at us when we had that picture taken?

To read the rest of the story click here...

Bumped by the Pope...and other things that have happend to me today

The Orange County Register picked up my post below "The (More) Real(istic) Housewives of Orange County" and plopped it right on the front page.

There we are, just out for a day at the (totally awesome) ARTbar and...bam! Front page! So then it just took off...comments came rolling in.. and then...bumped by the Pope...

But then put back up.

Next, the Editor calls..."It's crazy here." By the end of the day they had over 9,000 hits! It was a fun piece to write and of course it was all in fun, but take a look at all of the comments here: Read them here...just scroll down...

Wow, Does God exist? Not sure what some of the comments even mean? Some had to be explained to me by aforementioned Editor. But I think it has shown that there is room for talk about "we" housewives. It hit a nerve with people. Some got the humor, some didn't. And as I've said before, the negative stuff rolls off my back, as long as I have the support of my family, friends and people who read me (and like me of course).

Most of the comments were positive and inspire me to keep going. I wish I could respond to each and every one, but might not get ANY sleep tonight if I did..more to come...

Today in "Alive in Wonderland" Grace and poise in an Irvine nail salon

Today at The Orange County Register I tell a story of heart-stopping rudeness and how one woman choose to not let it suck her in...Please select recommend after reading the story, an overwhelming feeling of peace and serenity will accompany you all day if you do...

To me, going to the nail salon is a respite from my daily grind. A place I go to read the People magazine I sneer at my friends for reading. I sit on my beige vinyl throne and flip through the pages thinking smugly, "I am so glad I don't find this remotely interesting...ohh, who's that?" Unfortunately, one trip to this bastion of twenty-five dollar luxury was infiltrated by a woman in a VERY large black Escalade.

I sat next to this woman as she received her mani/pedi. While I tried to decide between "ElePhantastic Pink" or "Big Apple Red" I watched another woman outside the salon opening her car door and attempting to get behind the wheel of her Camry. She was polite about it, making every attempt not to ding the Escalade that slid in barely one foot away from her driver's side.

Finally accepting defeat, she peeked her head back into the salon. "Is that anyone's Escalade out there? I can't get into my car." Ms. Mani/Pedi pitched forward, looked at the thin valley between the two cars and said (brace yourselves)...

Click here to find out what she said...

Today on "Mommy's Mind Is Not A Toy"

Today on The Mom Blog I posted this recipe from my heartlessly forgotten "Slightly Inappropriate Family Dinners" series (listen to me, such a goof) I started a while ago.

This one, Psycho Chicken, is slightly inappropriate by name AND by ingredient, because you need almost an entire bottle of wine to pour over the hapless bird.

Ingredients:
Whole chicken (smallish)
1 1/2 teaspoon dried or three sprigs fresh thyme
2 cloves garlic, pressed
1 tablespoon cider
Dry white wine
Salt
Freshly ground pepper

Preheat oven to 325°F.

Clean chicken and remove giblets--boil them for the cat.

Now, hack the bejezzes out of the chicken all over with the tip of your sharpest, most sinister-looking chef's knife.

In a small bowl, mix together thyme, garlic, salt, pepper and vinegar, and slather liberally on chicken, taking care that mixture gets into slits in the meat.

Place chicken on rack in roasting pan and throw the poor girl in the oven.

Every 20 minutes or so pour more wine on the roasting chicken. When finished you should have enough wine for one glass for yourself.

Your house is gong to smell like you really know what you are doing in the kitchen. (Okay to feel disproportionately proud of yourself and think of yourself as Supermom.)

Roast about 2 hours.

Now, this is the VERY IMPORTANT part, which will make or break the entire dish so don't screw it up: carve and then dredge each slice in the juices in the bottom of the pan. Yum!

Enjoy. Take full credit.

Today on "Mommy's Mind Is Not A Toy" plus the dads make their debut

I have slightly reworked the story about the gabby bathroom talker for my post on The Mom Blog at ocregister.com.

"Mommy likes the idea of vigilante etiquette justice"

The Register has just launched their OC Moms website and with that, The Dad Blog. You guessed it, so clever, dads talking about being dads. Andre Mouchard's posted this as his first entry on his blog "Dad, The Musical."

Best (and worst) advice I ever got from my Dad

Rate the wisdom!

Here are a few pearls of advice from my own father. You decide what was wise vs. what was unwise.

“Here, try the clams.”
“Best way to get rich is to stay married.” (He’s on wife No. 3. And, for the record, I wasn’t contemplating being unmarried.)
“No, really, all the guys in France wear these…”
“Money? You can always make money.”
“Get a haircut… get a job.”
“Don’t touch that!”
“G**damit, stop crying.”
“Read this.” (Hands over copy of “Jonathan Livingston Seagull”)
“Read this.” (Hands over copy of “Huckleberry Finn”)
“You put the salt on the glass before you pour in the..."

Ooo, this is going to be good.

Ben Wener's Blog "Not The Mama" looks like it's going to be good, too. You can't go wrong when you proclaim your undying devotion to Bowie in you first post (he's also the Pop Critic at the Register).

Today in "Alive in Wonderland"

You know how you always end up sitting next a woman with twelve cats at benefit dinners? That doesn't happen to you all the time? Well, you know how sometimes you feel utterly out of place in a gathering of "grown-ups" and you just want to go have a ciggy (even though you don't smoke) with the wait staff? What? No? Well, I'm sure you know how it feels to realize living in Orange County isn't that bad, right?

I know all about these things and I wrote about it in my column "Alive in Wonderland" today on ocregister.com.

Armed with our Mapquest map, Larry and I drove across Orange County to a small restaurant on top of a hill to attend a benefit dinner. We were late, way late, and I hate being late. I pride myself on being on time, so much so, that if I am on time, in my mind, I'm late.

I usually like to go to these charity events. I like getting dressed up, eating a nice dinner, meeting new people, all in the name of helping, in this case, "the kids."

This night was different.

Read more of Drat! It's just me. My Evening With Cat Woman.

(Not to be bossy, but after thoroughly enjoying the article, please select recommend. Every time you do, I get a biscuit and a pat on the head.)

Throw your arms around me! I have a list on McSweeney's

Many thanks to Chris at McSweeney's for publishing my list: "Easy-Listening Songs From The 70's, Rewritten By The Artists After They Have Had Kids." You have made me the happiest housewife in Orange County.

Click here if you haven't the wildest idea what McSweeney's is and Wikipedia will get you up to speed.)

I'm going to be impossible to be with now.

("Throw your arms around me" Hunters and Collectors.)

I'm so vain...I probably think I'm top recommended because I'm good or something

Not to be all talking about myself or anything...oh, too late, but I happened to noticed "Alive in Wonderland" is the top recommended article on ocregister.com! Not that I was looking.

I KNEW you wouldn't believe me--YOU. So here is proof:

Yay! All of my whining and compulsive emailing has paid off. Please keep on reading and if you think of it, check recommend, then I can be up on the home page, in the big leagues. (See accompanying stories. I truly have no business being there.)

I emailed Keith Sharon and insisted I get my very own parking space now, but I think I am aiming too low--now I'm thinking corner office, with views of the construction on the 5 Freeway. Ha! I haven't ever been to The Register building, but I wave at it on my way to The Main Place.

"You're So Vain" Carly Simon

Today on "Mommy's mind is not a toy"

I just posted "Breaking News: Irvine Mom Admits She Can't Afford Something" on ocregister.com's "The Mom Blog."
This is my shabby, limping attempt to be "Oniony." I downright love to read "The Onion."

Alive In Wonderland...My (totally) lame Duck's story

Today in "Alive in Wonderland," my column at The Orange County Register, a story about The Anaheim Ducks and me. I can't help myself, I love that game!

Reluctantly, I went to my very first Ducks hockey game a couple of weeks ago. More specifically, it was my first hockey game ever. Our friends, Tim and Cathy, are season ticket holders and kindly invited Larry, my husband, and me.

Oh my! The pushing and shoving, the unsportsmanlike behavior, the spite exhibited to one Paul Kariya, the loud music, the teetering, future lawsuit-producing blimp from “Togo's”...all of it has bewitched me, body and soul. (Surely the first ever Pride and Prejudice reference in a hockey story.)

"Click here to read more of My (totally) lame duck's story."

Today on "Mommy's mind is not a toy"

Today on my blog, "Mommy's mind is not a toy," on the Mom Blog "The final numbers on our Disney Cruise."

Alive in Wonderland...never been there, but the brochure looks nice

My column, Alive in Wonderland, made its debut today on ocregister.com. The first installment is here: Welcome to my Wonderland. I will post stories about life in Orange County every Monday and Thursday.

Didn't Lisa Mertins do a bang-up job on the illustration? It's downright perfect. She is truly talented in so many ways.

I had an Orange County thing happen while buying the new Fortune Mag ( interesting story about Target) today at the gift shop in the Orlando Airport, I had to show the woman behind the counter my California I.D. She smiled big and said, "I love California. I am going to San Jose in two weeks." I told her (proudly) I'm from Orange County. "Oh, Orange County, it's beautiful there...I ain't been there, but it looks nice."

Hmmm, wonder where she gets her impression? Maybe from this or this? Yes, it is exactly like that living here--the sun, the indie soundtrack playing all the time in the background, the shrieking.

"Everyday is a winding road" by Sheryl Crow

I want you...to read my blog on ocregister.com...so bad

On "Mommy's Mind Is Not A Toy" today, Whining: A Young Child's Only Weapon.

"Alive in Wonderland" is going to debut on ocregister.com's Morning Read Page next Thursday, not this Thursday, the following Thursday. I will post all the info here. I want you to read that too.

Take a look at this slide show from Vogue by Annie Leibovitz: Alice In Wonderland. I love it.

The more you ignore me, the closer I get. You're wasting your time

I can't stop taking on writing adventures. Poor "accomplished" Suzanne Broughton doesn't stand a chance any longer. I can just see her resisting the urge to google herself, finally giving in, and cursing the day I ever decided to start blogging. I suppose there is the possiblity she just doesn't care to be the most famous out of the two of us...doubtful, but possible. (Current status: I dominate the first 6 positions on a "Suzanne Broughton" search.) Read about self-imposed, petty, google-war here.

What was I talking about? Yes...I have been working on getting the travel blog for Larry's company, Broughton Hospitality, up and running. It is now open to the public, and ready to "dazzle" you.

Visit here: Checking in with Broughton Hospitality.

Now, can't help then to link to this song by Morrissey: The more you ignore me, the closer I get. You're wasting your time. I have this as a ringtone on my iPhone. I like to choose ringtones that sound like my phone is talking to me.

"The more you ignore me, the closer I get" by Morrissey