Peet's Coffee is not only has my favorite coffee, it's the closest coffee place to my house. Just a quick walk and I can be sipping my au lait within five minutes of leaving my front door. But I'm back on Starbucks. The reason is as simple as it is pathetic: I can't get my coffee from a barista who doesn't laugh at my jokes. Sorry.
I have tried all my best stuff on the tall, David Byrne-vibed, middle-aged barista at Peet's:
My: "I think I want something naughty" (in English Accent) as I tap my fingers together.
My: "I'm going to tell you I don't want whipped cream and then you're going to know that means I want whipped cream, Okay? And then when you hand me my coffee with whipped cream I'm going to be all 'I said NO whipped cream!' and you're going to be all 'I'm sorry' and then I'm going to say 'You might as well keep it there now' and you're going to shrug in shame, okay?" Always gets a laugh out of every barista.
But this guy? Nothing. It's like I'm reading him the phone book. So I stopped going there.
Anyways, here's my question: Do you use a fake name at Starbucks? What is it? IF you don't have one, please adopt one NOW! It will give you unimaginable (and patently immature) entertainment.
I always use Suzie....and if they spell it wrong, I ALWAYS point it out. Even though it's not really my name.
Over at OC Family I tell another Starbucks story. The one where I act like I've never stepped foot in a Starbucks in my life: