I made this video when I attended the OC Moms' launch party last Sunday at the Discovery Science Center. I write for the The Mom Blog at ocregister.com and thought a video of the event was in order...
You can go to my blog "Mommy's Mind is Not a Toy" by clicking here.
Love American Style
Love, Love, Love
Love, American Style,
Truer than the Red, White and Blue.
Love, American Style,
That's me and you.
And on a star spangled night my love, (My love come to me).
You can rest you head on my shoulder.
Out by the dawn's early light, my love
I will defend your right to try.
Love, American Style,
That's me and you.
**deep sigh**
Wait...
"...Defend your right to try"... what?
Today on The Mom Blog I get peeved at the use of the term "The OC"
Here is my full post...if you want to comment please head on over to my blog "Mommy's Mind is not a Toy" and tell me what you think...is this just a non-issue?
...and now something totally un-mom related.
I've never heard anyone from Orange County ever refer to it as "The OC." It's not like this is the biggest deal in the world, but as a native, it bugs.
It feels a little like media carpetbagging when you hear it called "The OC" on the news or see it on a t-shirt.
I think it's a lot like when I lived in San Francisco and I'd be at a party and someone would say "Oh, I just love Frisco." That person would be instantly marked as a poser from Mountain View and avoided for the rest of the night for fear he would start talking about "Kerouac."
Don't get me started on my hometown Huntington Beach, oops...oh, I mean "Surf City."
Surf City Frozen Yogurt? Yes. Surf City Marathon? Okay. I'll meet you at Sugar Shack in Surf City? Never.
I know it's just supposed to be a tagline, but I don't want my memories, my hometown, my life, taglined.
Okay, maybe I should just get over this--it's a little petty and adolescent. It just rings untrue in my ear. Like when someone says "Supposably" or "for all intensive purposes."
It just ain't right.
Here is my latest Vlog for my column "Alive in Wonderland." You will see, my favorite kind of comedy features my stupidity as the punch-line.
Please head on over to my column below and read the full story and then select recommend at the top of the page. When you do, it keeps the 'higher-ups" at the Orange County Register saying, "Who is the 'Suzanne' person and why does she keep bothering us?"
There are some blogs that have been there with me from the very beginning. I first met Miss Cellania when she linked to my "Note found in the fridge" , way back when my blog was an itsy bitsy baby. Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet.
If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog.
Since our first introduction I have sent her, "The sad lonely life of a mom's coffee cup", "Shameful things I have eaten as a mom", "A hypochondriac's Twitter chain" and probably a few others that she has linked on her site.
Thanks Miss. C.
Miss Cellania is a good site to add to your Google Reader/Bloglines so you can check in with her daily. Her posts are bite-sized and every once in a while she'll write something herself, which is always 'ilarious.
It was her support when I first started writing that encouraged me to stay up nights typing-away. There are some people out there that if they think you're funny, you can safely think, "Hey, I must be funny."
Go ahead and send her things that you find on the internet that make you laugh or even things you have written. (She will usually link back a "thanks" if she uses it.) She is always looking for good stuff and she can't see EVERYTHING!...or can she?
Email your own or lifted funny stuff to her at radiofox@gmail.com.
Thanks again Miss C for your support, example and encouragement! You rule the school and I don't say that to anyone over 10 years-old unless I truly mean it.
Recently, I went on a mission. Not a spiritual one. Not a do-gooder one. A mission to find the perfect fitting bra. I heard rumors that one was "out there" somewhere and when I say "out there" I mean at Nordstom. There, I was told, they have trained professionals with tape measures around their necks who knew their "AA", "B", "DD"'s.
That's right, "AA"s.
Some of you might be thinking, she means an "A." No! There is a size called "AA." It's smaller than an "A" and I think the most charming of all bra sizes. Not just a silly "A" and not all show-off-y like "DD"s.
AA!
I'm getting ahead of myself.
There I was, at Norstrom face to face with a bra "pro" with a real notebook and everything. She was all of 20-year-old and she had recently had eyelash extensions that she "just totally loved." So good. Let's call her "Jen." Jen was very skillful with her measuring tape and listened with compassion as I told my story of the hours spent scavenging through the random "A" bin at Victoria Secret's sales, the poor sales person sent to the "back room" to find a smaller size in a bra I loved (only to come back defeated and empty-handed or sometimes never to return) and the wanderlust I had to find the perfect fitting bra.
She scribbled down my numbers, tilted her head and then she said the words that changed it all, "You're a "AA", not an "A."
"Really?" I said in surprise (not to mistaken with disappointment). "I didn't know there was such a thing--'AA,' really?"
Jen nodded with forced sympathy, "Yes, it's (pause...she collects herself) smaller than an 'A', " she barely finishes.
"Great! Do you have these 'AA' bras of which you speak? Can I try one?" I said with renewed zeal and hope.
She trots off and brings me back five or six. The whole time I'm making jokes like, "So you must have an overstock of these in Orange County...Do you offer a discount on the smaller sizes," that kind of thing. Obviously not embarrassed or ashamed. I'm famously proud of the way I am. I have even been know to say outrageous things like, "I like the way I am."
I know! I could give talks to flat chested young girls about how it's great to be just the way you are. I could list all the actresses and models I love because of our..ummm, brevity and simplicity. (Not to mention the traders. Read: Lauren Hutton.)
After one last crack, something like, "Have you ever sold one of these at South Coast Plaza? Will there be any special ceremony?" Ms.-all-of-20-years-old, new-eyelash-extensions, never-stepped-foot-outside-orange-county's-city-limits said, (dramatized pause) "It's okay, you have a pretty face."
Whatever Jen.
Some of my compadres...
He and Bill Cosby were my dad's favorite comedians. So I grew up listening to him and loving him. When some celebrities die it spurs memories that have been tucked away somewhere. Then the headline kicks it out when you're not prepared for it.
When I read Carlin (that's what my dad called him--Carlin) died on Yahoo! I thought about my dad, sitting on his side of the couch, tapping out his pipe, and chuckling hard. He had more of a chuckle than a fully committed laugh, his whole body would shake and Carlin could really get him going.
Unfortunately, so could Gallagher. My brothers and I sat through many a watermelon splattering and bad pun. Not genius by any measure, but funny to my dad, so eventually to us, too.
Carlin was smart and sharp and did a lot of cursing. Though my dad didn't curse, he seemed to approve of us watching him. So there I was, little, listening to the s-bomb and references I didn't get--laughing! That must have been worth the lapse in discretion to my dad.
When someone you love dies you say good-bye to them, but then there follows a million other little good-byes. So, though George Carlin was a stranger, I felt tied to him and his passing forced another good-bye to my dad.
I just can't help myself.
I'm a smart a** of the worst kind, the kind that doesn't care if there's anyone there to laugh but me. I amuse myself and now that I have a blog it encourages me to act out even more.
I was at an appointment for Ben yesterday. As we waited in the teal green and pink waiting room I noticed (and who couldn't notice) the massive clock on the wall behind the check-in nurse. I mean this thing was beyond Pottery Barn big clock. It was ginormous, but stylish in a Tuscan kind of way. 
It was almost spiteful in its bigness. Like the person who bought it was thinking, "Let's see if 3,000 people a day ask me what time it is now!" As they try to cram it in their hatchback they mumble, "Someone would have to be a complete idiot to ask me with this clock behind me."
Back in the waiting room I just couldn't help myself. The scene played out in my head a few times. I felt peaked and clammy from trying not to do it. "Fine!" I tell myself.
I approached the counter, "Excuse me, can you please tell me what time it is?" I asked the scribbling nurse. She didn't look up to see I was smiling to indicate I was only joking. She just pointed her ball point at the Big Ben clock.
"Just kidding," I said and went to take my seat. "Marcy will think it's funny," I tell myself as I go back to reading a three month old People.
I plugged in the iron last night and all the lights in the house started to flicker. There was some sort of power surge...or maybe it was the house rejecting a foreign appliance. I don't think I have ever used it in this house before. I truly am a disgrace to the housewife.
Picture lifted from the Etsy shop of michelemaule
(That is exactly the face Larry gives me when I leave the key in the door.)
Went to see "Sex and the City" last night with Jill and I take it back, I liked the movie very much. I trashed the series on The Mom Blog and here , but I'm not too proud to say I misjudged those four girls. They were funny, loyal and adorable--all things I look for in a girlfriend. SJP's personality broke through the frivolousness and I loved how she couldn't see anything w/out glasses--which she refused to get.
The only thing I'm going to stick-by is my impression of "Big." I didn't give a flying flip if they ended up together or not. There was no draw there. He still seemed like an arrogant weasel to me. (...and he needed to button his shirt up just one more button...come on...you can do it...just one more--oogie.)
After the movie we went to get a coffee. The guys in front of us were ordering theirs and the barista asked, "What name would you like for your drinks?" 
Because we are both like-silly-ed, Jill and I instantly laughed and thought of things to say:
Jill, "I've always been fond of Sarah."
Me, "Oh, I don't know, how about Bruce and Connie?"
When it came time to order, we were shaky with expectation--would she ask us the same question?
But, with great disappointment she said, "What is your name?" to Jill.
Can't have everything I suppose...
Had a date last night with a charming 4 year old. We went to The Old Spaghetti Factory in Newport Beach. We sat in the trolley, drank Italian sodas, and ate three loaves of bread! He was such a gentleman, he pushed all the crosswalk buttons for me on our way there and he even let me finish his vegetables!
After dinner we went for a walk on the beach. He found a shiny penny on the boardwalk and threw it in the ocean and made a wish with it.
"What did you wish for?" I asked him later in the car.
"I hope you're my mommy forever!" he said as he batted his enormous eyelashes.
Oh, and "I hope I get to have a Transformer party for my birthday (next March)," he added.
What a smooth operator...
Well, she's not really a little girl any more. I wrote a little about her on my blog on The Mom Blog "click here to go to Mommy's Mind is Not a Toy."
When naming your animals, you always have to consider how a new name will fit with all of the other pet's names. So, when naming our new puppy, we had to think about what would go well with "Hazel." I like naming animals with proper "people" names, but my idea of naming him "Doug" was quickly dismissed. So, in keeping with the feel of "Hazel" we came up with George.
George and Hazel sounds like the couple that would come into Hershel's, a New York-style diner I used to work at years ago--and order sweet and sour cabbage soup. It wasn't EVER hot enough for Hazel. It was cold according to Hazel and there wasn't anything anyone could say that could change her mind. Flames could be leaping from the bowl and setting the curtains on fire and she would still send it back.
This was to George's great displeasure. He would say, "Hazel, that waitress (me) can't make that soup any hotter without burning herself. Is that what you want?" (Always with the guilty and worst case scenario.)
Hazel would just wave away his complaints with her gloved hand and send it back. I would make it hotter than any human could stand and she would dip her little finger in it, proclaim it "hot enough" and let it sit there for 1/2 an hour to cool off.
Oh, that really got to George. (But never enough to leave me an extra tip.)
George and Hazel--they are perfect for each other.
I don't know if it's summer, the heat, my new bangs, but I am feeling uninspired. I have been here before and I know it will pass.
Because I'm basically an optimist, I think this must just be a refueling time for me. I'm still storing up ideas--just have no desire to spill them onto my Mac. You know what it is? I feel like more is going out than coming in. So, I need to read, watch some movies, talk to old friends, learn something new and just sit for a while.
Let's see where this goes...
Picture lifted from My Folk Lover on Etsy.
"It's hard to get by, just upon a smile." Cat Stevens, Wild World
"Suzanne the plans they made put an end to you." James Taylor, Fire and Rain
Today, on my blog at ocregister.com I ask readers to tell me what beaches in Orange County are the best for families.
If you want to give me some advise, or are just dying to see me again on Daybreak OC again, then click here to go to The Mom Blog.
This is when Hazel and George first meet. She still isn't sure about him.
The cat, Kitty Kitty, took one look and said, "You've got to be friggin' kidding me with this" and proceeded to angrily text all of her friends--Y R NOT Going to BELV it! A Nw K9! L8R GG puke frbal in spite KK
No reaction from Peter Rabbit.
Yet.
Today in "Alive in Wonderland" I expand on my story about graduating from Jr. High and then go on to talk about the joys of yearbook inscriptions. Please head on over to "These were the best of times" at ocregister.com.
Don't forget to select "recommend" at the top of the column. Every time you do, I get closer to my goal of total world domination. Thanks.
This is our new dog George. We got him last night at a charity auction for the Back Bay Therapeutic Riding Club.
Like we had a choice. Just look at him...more to come.
Rumor has it this scene from the film Pink Floyd in Pompeii...
Was the inspiration for this scene in "This Is Spinal Tap."
After watching Pink Floyd in Pompeii in it's entirety (which was magnificent) I could see the influence of Spinal Tap. I love it when Nick Mason asked for the center piece of the pie and off camera someone says, "We only have those round pies." So funny.
Some other Spinal Tap things: The Official This is Spinal Tap website, ; Nigel explains to National Geographic how Stonehenge was built ; Another Pink Floyd moment ; Spinal Tap reunited to fight global warming ; Memorable quotes; The orginal trailer; and Lego Spinal Tap singing, "Tonight I'm going to rock you tonight."
"It's such a fine line between stupid and clever." Genius!
There I am, graduation 8th grade in 1983. I love this picture, braces and all. It brings back that afternoon in June so many years ago with crystal clear glee. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Do you remember that feeling of being completely unfettered and joyful? School was over and I had the new world of High School waiting for me after a summer of going to the beach and hanging out with my friends. I wasn't clouded by the worries of adulthood, or even the angst of a teenager.
I would give anything to have that feeling just for an hour today, but I think it's reserved for kids of a certain age, of a certain time.
Judging from the response to my Growing up in the '70's column, reminiscing about the past isn't something only I like to do.
I am working on Monday's column now about this very subject...
As I walked down the aisle, when the picture was taken "The Best of Times" by Styx..."Our memories of yesterday will last a lifetime...These are the best of times." Yes, they were.
This is this Thursday's addition of "Sincerely 'Fro Me to You" hosted by Kristen at "We are that family." Thanks Kristen!
My kids and I went to this far-off place called Yorba Linda on Monday to visit Marcy from The Glamorous Life. It was the first time our kids had met each other and they all got along swimmingly (which they did for about 1/2 hour as well--swim).
Just in case you were wondering what two blogging moms do when they have their kids together on a summer afternoon; they make movies, talk about their blogs and do a Father's Day craft or two. Marcy and I are new friends, we met through blogging on ocregister.com, and the more time I spend with her, the more confidant I am I have found a kindred spirit.
It was amazing to me at what ease we took to bossing each other's children around. It must be the sign of true mom-bonding when you can tell the other's kid to "zip it" after the first hour. Her kids were obviously not strangers to the fine art of sarcasm and had a healthy lack of formalness toward me. They're good kids--fun.
Marcy's house is beautiful and she totally accepts that it is going to be trashed throughout the day--which is a characteristic I look for in a true mom friend. She doesn't run along after the kids with a DustBuster, choosing instead to let's them eat cookies in the living room while playing Wii--this is all brilliant in my opinion. A good time was had by all...
To watch the movie, "If kids ruled the world," head on over to my blog "Mommy's Mind Is Not A Toy" at ocregister.com. Don't resist the urge to comment there.
Equally fun was making this bloopers video of the day's shoot. Jack really took his directorial debut seriously. As you will see, he had all the terminology down and demanded I pick the onions off his Tombstone pizza. (not really about the second thing--but he's one film away from it.)
This video is a tad shaky--might want to pop some Dramamine before viewing...
The Making of "If kids ruled the world." from Suzanne Broughton on Vimeo.
(I love the still frame that was chosen!)
I wore my seven-year-old daughter's slip all day today without ever realizing it. This is embarrassing because:
a.) My daughter is the one who pointed it out to me. I didn't even notice, though I was readjusting all day.
b.) I think I'm the only girl over ten-years-old who even wears a slip anymore. What can I say, "I'm modest."
c.) I was wearing jeans.
d.) Just kidding about "c"
To see confession # 1-8 "Click here"
Today in my column I list all the things you will remember if you were a kid, growing up in Orange County in the 70's. Even if you didn't grow up here, some of the things you might remember.
Click here to read it... Please remember to select "recommend" at the top of the column. If everyone does I get a free "Pigs Trough" from Ferrell's Ice Cream Parlor. Will the obscure Orange County 70's references ever end?
(Thanks Karen from The Blah Blah Blog for the Pup 'n' Taco memory.)
Here is the clip of my appearance on Daybreak OC, Orange County's very own morning news program. It's on KDOC from 6 am to 8 am, Monday through Friday. I watch it every morning, which is part of the reason why I was so nervous. Shally Zomorodi made me feel so comfortable and relaxed. If I look at ease in the clip, it's largely because of her.
This video still for the clip is very strange. I couldn't figure out how to change it. If anyone know how to insert a new still into YouTube (beyond the three offered), please let me know.
I have been reading Mindy at The Mommy Blog for an entire week now. Now, some of you will hear "The Mommy Blog" and instantly think there will be posts about needlessly meticulous and overcomplicated crafts, thirty-four step recipes involving saffron, and a story about how she breast fed while pushing her double stroller across the finish line of a charity marathon she organized at night while her children slept in their freshly feng shui 'd rooms. Well, maybe that's just me, but Mindy doesn't talk about any of those things...and that's what I like about her.
She took the "Come as you are" challenge thrown down by Tracey at Sweetney. Here it is: Post a photo of yourself taken right now and load it up onto your blog or Flickr or, let's face it, both.
So here I am, right now...
As you can tell, today I spent the morning at Scooter's Jungle with 50 riotous 1st graders, got my first set of contact lenses (including 30 minute "lesson" on how to stick myself insert them in the eyes) and then made dinner. All of these things were equally taxing on my appearance. But, there I am.
