About Me

Fueled by Diet Coke, a burning need for attention and an ardent desire to prove my college journalism professor wrong, I write daily on my blog, (Emphasis Mine). I live with my husband and two kids in Orange County, California.

Find me elsewhere:

My column at the Orange County Register website, ocregister.com, "Alive in Wonderland."

My blog At The Orange County Register, Mommy's Mind Is Not A Toy.

McSweeney's, Lists.

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50 random things about me.

1. I collect; Roseville Pottery, fuzzy pens and clever things people say.

2. I haven't ever skied.

3. I love doing sit-ups.

4. I wanted my name to be Suzette when I was in high school and subscribed to a forest of magazines in the name of Suzette Dorton.

5. Every morning when I wake up the first thing I do is stand on my tippy-toes to make sure I can still stand on my tippy-toes. This springs from my mild hypochondria.

6. Embarrassing/impossible crushes I have had in the past: Donahue, The Fonz, Arthur Kent and Robbie Benson.

7. Current embarrassing/impossible crushes: Sportacous, Jeff from Flipping Out, and Jiminy Glick.

8. I prefer lemony to chocolaty.

9. Only recently did I get the pun in "The Beatles." It's Beatles. I do get it now.

10. I was once fired from a job as a waitress at a VERY fancy restaurant in San Francisco because I couldn't open a bottle of wine at the table--I'd totally choke. They called and left a message. My roommate got the message, copied it on to a post-it and put it on my door. It read something along the lines of "(Blank) called. You're fired. You must be an awful waitress. (Blank) didn't even say sorry and he was kind of laughing." The WORST part was that I was dating (Blank) at the time. That's how bad I was at opening that stupid bottle of wine. I still have a mini-anxiety attack every time I see a corkscrew.

11. I can't pronounce the word "amicable." People have tried to help, but I just can't do it.

12. I love the words inane, insipid and penchant.

13. I can't stop myself from smiling when I'm in an uncomfortable or overly serious situation. Which has lead to some pretty heated conversations which usually include phrases like "is this all a big joke to you" or with accusations of "giving mixed messages." I really try not to, but the more I try...

14. I answer rhetorical questions asked by the TV, radio, internet or answering machine messages. I can't help it..."Is your garage door embarrassing you and your family?" YES! or my favorite "Is your hair trying to tell you something" As a matter of fact...

15. Once had the song "Wake me up before you go-go" stuck in my head for an entire summer. It was awful. I drowned it out by listening to Lloyd Cole nonstop. Read the story "Frankly Mr. Shankly."

16. I am an excellent parallel parker.

17. My feet turn bright red when they are hot, convinced this is a sign of serious illness. (See #5 .)

18. Calling me a "freak" or "chicken feet" when this happens hurts my feelings and is just mean.

19. We have seven pets: two dogs, a cat, a rabbit, a bird, a snake and a lizard.

20. I hitchhicked/Eurorailed across Europe when I was twenty- years old--by myself.

21. I can't believe I am not twenty anymore. Then I talk to a twenty-year old and can't believe I was ever twenty.

22. We named our daughter Emily Anne, after Emily and Anne Bronte.

23. I never graduated from college. I was two classes away from a degree and I quit. I was working in my field and thought I was too busy to complete the courses.

24. Biggest regret? Not finishing college.

25. Matthew Macfadyen over Colin Firth.

26. The first boyfriend I ever had, in fifth-grade broke up with me because he said I loved my cats more than him. I can still see him talking to me through the screen of our front door.

27. I have watched every last Seinfeld.

28. I had to flirt unabashedly with my (now) husband to get him to ask me out. He was a hot commodity in the brutal, sometimes confusing, San Francisco singles market.

29. My two best friends are identical twins, so is my husband.

30. My husband's name is Larry and his twin brother is named Barry.

31. I love Mary Tyler Moore. She was my idol growing up.

32. When I can't fall asleep, I try to remember every pair of shoes I have ever owned. It always puts me to sleep. You should try it.

33. I can't remember the name of one teacher from twelfth-grade.

34. I can tell you the names of every band member in: The Alarm, Simple Minds, Duran Duran, The Split Enz and Psychedelic Furs.

35. I haven't ever stolen anything from a store.

36. My favorite moment in the day is when I see my kids for the first time in the morning. I still can't believe how blessed I am to have them.

37. I haven't seen a scary movie since "The Shining" in sixth- grade.

38. I can't stand Nirvana. I know I should like them, but I don't.

39. My son's middle name is Currier, after my step dad.

40. My step dad is in the process of adopting me right now.

41. I have read Wuthering Heights AT LEAST 10 times.

42.My husband has forbidden me from buying anything with a rabbit on it.

43. I have been using a Mac for 1 1/2 years and won't ever go back.

44. I am a disgraceful speller.

45. I can do...hold on...15 push ups.

46. Small Elizabethan shoes, red velvet and professional photographs of pregnant women cradling their naked bellies creep me out...oh, and that Twilight Zone with William Shatner when he sees the monster on the wing of the plane...oh, and from Twilight Zone, The Movie, when the kid lives in that cartoon-land.

47. I have absolutely zero artistic ability--I envy and appreciate anyone who does.

48. When I was nine-years-old my brothers hung my Holly Hobbie doll in a noose from the ceiling light in my room. I let out a scream of pure terror when I saw it. I can still see her hanging there. Besides that, they were pretty kind to me.

49. I am listening to Joni Mitchell's "You turn me on. I'm a Radio" right now.

50. I can be a little self-involved sometimes.